polishing rocks

When you polish rocks you're secretly sending messages to oprah's evil hit squad, Oprah's rejects - starring James Fry.  When they catch you, you have to confess some deep dark secret on her network.

that is old

larry the pig: part two

part 1
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Hey, Larry what do you think of the Amish?  They’re smelly Leprechauns whose idea of soap is a toilet.  How dare you talk about my ancestors, you limey!  Okay, liar or as I call you behind your back… fruit loops.  Hey, Larry at least I don’t think tremors is a discovery channel nature program.  Hey, fruit loops, I get it you think your funny I guess the joke is on you.

PS. Pigpen is so happy that he doesn’t have to read this in speech class.

I ran out of material for this so its short… excuses, excuses.

dear friends...

so I've created 3 set lists for the open mics I've been going to, i'm going to wait until the timing is right.

dear racists

I always wonder about the rational behind people joining the klan or some other racist group.  I bet when they decide to do it, they weren't singing kumbaya to their minority neighbors.  I guess "why can't we be friends" isn't on their play list.  I bet they can't recite Rodney King's plea "why can't we all just get along" but of course they think hitler's alive and livin in Kansas.  Why would hitler want to live in Kansas or somewhere else in the Midwest?  I know he wants to be a meth dealer in his new life, it all makes sense now!  I am so enlightened (by your wisdom), now I feel like I'm on top of the world!  Thanks racists for telling me the truth, you are so wise and smart especially when you call yourselves, Christian.  I'm just curious the whole "do unto others as you would them do unto you" how is that working out for you?  You tell me, you dumb lemmings.

They think jesus was a jew hater, I guess they missed the part that he is from a jewish heritage.  Why else would the roman guards who tortured him before his death call him "king of the jews" and have a sign that testified that fact.  You tell me, you swashbuckling idiots.

If this isn't funny, I don't care because their nothing funny to me about racism and if your a racist and you're reading this, do me a favor get your head out of your ass!

shutdown mayhem

I could post something really sarcastic about the government shutdown but why bother when cruz and his cronies made a bunch of the republicans look like jackasses so I don't have to... he did it for me.  thanks Yoda.  Now what am I suppose to do, write a post about the muppets?  Everybody in the public knew the republicans were Obama's bitch when the government shutdown was in full swing and if you didn't sorry that your cherry was broken. they didn't succeed at anything, if you think they did how does it feel to be living in neverland?  I know its a new case of roger rabbit being framed.  those who say they were successful are living a charade where their playing the "don't blink game" a game mr. cruz invented because he believes his own bullshit.  that's where you tell somebody not to blink and then you do it, like the republicans.  if I hit a nerve don't worry when you see me in my Eskimo "attire" we'll play rock paper scissors during the game you'll criticize me and call me a liberal or whatever the hell it is people say to other people to make themselves feel important and relevant.  the truth is Obama care is a law, it was upheld by the supreme court, so please spare you're pity party, I don't want to hear it.  if you hate Obama so much move to Mexico or Canada.

ps. I will say that I think the 30 hr requirement is stupid.

I like being an independent because its a license to piss democrats and republicans off. Do I support Obama care?  I support the notion of everybody getting insurance but i'm not really crazy about how Obama's law does it.  So to answer my question, I do not support Obama care.

who am I?

When I don't get my way I just label people.  I'd rather be vain than realistic.  My idea of fun is stealing land and giving it to my friends.  I get my kicks by renaming things like the secret police after my hero, odie.
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this short paragraph is a couple years old I obviously wrote it before his death.

hugo chavez (pic from npr)

 

not funny man...

I know what I'll do to make you laugh, i'll dance around in my undies during a blizzard while i'm doing the Macarena.  then, I will drool like a dog and say "feed me."

the end