doggy justice

Bell, a dog had a big frown on his face because of an ominous thought.  Why do his doggy treats call him a needy Muppet?  Then, he gets another scary thought.  What if their working in collusion with his doggy toys?  They call him an asinine ferret.

He thinks those dog treats are just a vile attempt by corporate America to make him fat.  That’s the real reason old yeller died.  The book and movie are just a marketing ploy to make humans turn into crying saps!

In addition, those dog toys believe their Machiavellian plot to get rid of him will succeed.  They want to be man’s best friend.  Those conniving weasels!  They think squeaking will make the master, happy.  Those stupid posers! Their plan will lead to the master’s disillusionment.

He gets a brilliant idea to deal with his new found enemies.  Drown them with his invigorating yellow wine; he just has to work on his aim.  The next time these dissident punks decide to try to rise against him, they will pay the ultimate price!