The lollipop’s name is Eddie and he hates little kids. Why? They look so sweet but beneath the veneer they’re sadists. “Daddy can I have a lollipop?” That’s a code word for murder. They love ripping the skin off of Eddie’s friends. They claim it’s a ‘wrapper’ when in fact their insides are being exposed. You should hear their horrific screams. They love saying, “This tastes good grandpa!” The slaughter of the innocent is deplorable anything tastes good to ravenous wolves! You don’t believe me talk to Dr. Phil. They love ending it quick, they bite off the heads of Eddie’s friends to make themselves feel important. Those pretentious snobs who justify what they do with excuses. They say, “Yummy, yummy, in my tummy!” When they should be saying, “I’m so sorry for injuring you, I should be eating crackers right now but Dick Cheney has a gun to my head because he thinks its hunting season.” Then, they throw them out like a piece of trash because they act like they’re a common criminal. When they’re precious individuals, they each have a unique identity and story but what do little kids care. Hey, if you get cavities because of this I have a couple words for you. You reap what you sow, you wannabe hobbits!
