Tuesday, May 28, 2013

online poker boy

I know what I’ll do I’ll whine to the librarian about the computers being slow and when the smart guy – wink, wink – suggests that you re-upload the site I’ll act like an idiot.  I’ll respond to him like he’s a jackass.  When she leaves for 20 or so minutes afterward I’ll press the mouse as much as possible, I’m not annoying or stupid, nope I’m just trying to exercise my smartest body part.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

tv prophet

hey, I know what I want to be when I grow up a "prophet."  Then, I can create my own tv ministry and beg for money.  I can promise you that you will be blessed with your love gift when in fact i'm just saying that to sucker you.  How the hell am I suppose to know that?  I'm not God!  I am just a business man!  I can be inaccurate and just say "oops" when my prophecy is completely off.  I can cry on tv when I cheat on my wife and say i'm sorry and expect my idiot followers to still send in their love gifts.  They believe that she is the root of the problem not me because i'm such a nice guy on tv, I would never do something that horrible on purpose.  I can proclaim doom and gloom while my books and dvds on the subject fly out like hot cakes to the senile old ladies and fools who buy them.  During which i'm counting the money and buying a new yacht.  I can act like I have secret information and that's why you should listen to me.  When in fact i have a whole team of lemmings working for me, who get me the information.  I make sure to ridicule other branches of Christianity so i do not seem arrogant.  I know what your thinking when am I going to reveal my ministry's yearly income?  When I get to heaven!

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I'm wondering if i've killed any sacred cows? hmmmm

Friday, May 3, 2013

cable news producer

I have a stick and I'm going to beat a sucker to death.  So do you want to be clobbered?  Do you want to be my next victim?  Haha I love being a cable news producer!  I get all tingly when I think of those saps who watch my shows some of whom are my victims - toni medrano wink, wink.  I love selling fear to the masses and watching them scream at the tv: were going to die, ahhhhhhhhh!  I love making it seem that something horrible is going to happen everyday when in reality its a rare occurrence but people are so stupid if I told them in a story that donald duck was a serial killer they would believe it!  They would be like geez, i always thought donald was a nice duck, gosh i should go see my shrink to find out what is so wrong with me.  I guess when the ducksters was cancelled he lost it!  You want be gullible believe the shit i enjoy shoveling.

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this sarcastic rant was written a long time ago, is it funny, i'm not sure, if its not oh well, i'm to lazy to try and rewrite it. i added a bunch to it the new stuff starts after the 5th sentence.

ms. medrano is just an example and i'm not mocking her death since i think what nancy grace did was horrible especially her attitude after her death.